Freddy Crowbar
I have been having a lot of bad dreams lately, one with a mysterious man who stalks me wherever I go, waiting for me to use the bathroom to do his dirty work… He likes to hide in cow manure and smear it on his crotch while watching his victims stray in their dream, lost, and confused.
His world is massive, filled with glitter filled cow turds and maniac pandas. I came across one of those pandas, he was ferocious, scary, and tried his best to get in my pants trying to get after my bone, but I said no... And no, means no!
Freddy enjoyed watching his victims suffer as they ran around frantically trying to find the bathroom. Little did they know, crowbar was lurking around every corner, out of sight as they ran by him screaming “I THINK I SHARTED! I THINK I SHARTED! SOMEONE HELP I THINK I SHARTED!”….they should not have asked for help, for the one thing Freddy enjoyed most of all, was taking his crusty crowbar and wiping his victim’s ass with it till they died.
I had a run in with Freddy as well, after bumping into him in person, he stared at me as I walked away, walking behind me at a relatively safe distance, scratching his balls with that crowbar faster and faster as he got closer to me, till he was right up against me violently scratching so hard I could feel it on my stomach. He then whispered in my ear “I…have crabs”
I freaked out and turned around, only to see dog crap in front of me, which I unknowingly stepped in. I went to sleep that night, not knowing what to think. I had a dream where I desperately needed to use the bathroom, and heard whispers in the dark… It was him, he was stalking me, I didn’t know what he wanted but I eventually found the bathroom.
I dropped my pants, and proceeded to let out the biggest #2 known to history, it was as if 3 bunnies took a dump simultaneously, which they did…right in front of me, as I was using the bathroom.
I then felt something brush against my bottom, it was cold, like ice, sharp, like a pillow, and was scraping away the glitter filled chunks from my anus. I eventually died of embarrassment, You are not actually reading this, your brain is channeling your inner retard and posting my shit on your computer/tv/xbox.